well two people who i considered close friends have decided that i’m a toxic person for trying to move on with my life and not be overshadowed by someone trying to manipulate me over and over and over
This is nothing to do with you “moving on”. This is to do with the fact that you are being selfish by completely disregarding anyone else’s feelings bar your own. This is because you don’t care about how your actions affect an individual who is hurting. This is because “waiting” is not akin to “getting better”; this is because you keep repeating the same vicious cycle without doing anything to fix it. This is because you are in a better position than Rei is because you have a partner to fall back on whereas she is alone and struggling because of your actions, and on top of that she now feels replaced. This is because you made me feel the same. This is because a friend of mine and yours needed you and you weren’t there, save to ask them to clean up your messes, despite your “closeness”.
This is because you have hurt us and we are under no obligation to keep being friends with someone who has done that.
So the whole getting better thing doesn’t include how I’ve dropped out of uni for the rest of the year for recovery, how I’ve been to therapists and set up counselling for the future and how I’ve been to doctors, gone back on my medication with an increased dosage? That’s all me just waiting and not trying to recover.
That’s not what I mean, and you know it. You are still perpetuating the same cycle in terms of relationships and hurting people in the process. Waiting a few months before jumping into another relationship is not progress in my eyes because you haven’t figured out what it is that makes you freak out and end relationships and until you do that, I don’t think you’re going to be able to have a proper lasting one.
I’m glad you’re seeking help in terms of your mental health, but I do not think you are in a place to have a relationship right now, and I am not the only one who thinks this.
ALL I’m saying on this is that our feelings are very valid and I have every right to remove you from my life when you’re dating someone who abused me and my friend. I don’t wanna associate with someone who ignores the fact that their partner abused me. Something which still effects me to this day, and triggered off one of my biggest breakdowns to date. They trigger me. They are full of negativity and hatred and they mocked a suicidal girl for being upset; I don’t want anything to do with them.
I’d also add that right in the middle of all that shit with Rei, when you were messaging me 30+ times a night? I was suicidal, I couldn’t handle it. You didn’t do a thing, you only added pressure to me and made me feel like I had to help, when I was already close to breaking.
You don’t need a relationship right now. You do this every time, you have done this now several times and I wonder how many people you’re gonna hurt before you stop doing it altogether. Just because you’re seeking help, it doesn’t mean you actually need to be in a relationship right now. Seeking help =/= getting better. I said all of this to you months ago. I still would be your friend but you’re dating someone who hurt me time and time again.
Plus, seen as I haven’t heard from you for close to a month and I’ve been trying to get in touch with you, I figured you didn’t want me around and were pushing me away. I don’t need that right now.
This? This is emotional manipulation, you’re trying to invalidate our feelings when me and Roo have every right to be upset, ditto Rei.
I have every right to do things for my own sake.
I’m not saying that you guys don’t have any right to delete me or anything, you completely do and that’s not what I’m arguing about in the slightest. I do know that at that time Jeff was not in their right state of mind, they were not themselves and how they acted, the things they did and said during that time actively disgust them. Even being reminded of that time and how they acted triggers them. You yourself used to act in a way that you’re not proud of. I’m not saying to forgive them or to forget about it, but to understand that who they were then is not who they are now.